Attached

- 书名:Attached
- 作者: AmirLevine RachelHeller
- 格式:MOBI,EPUB,AZW3
- 时间:2024-06-20
- 评分:
- ISBN:9781585429134
We rely on science to tell us everything from what to eat to when and how long to exercise, but what about relationships? Is there a scientific explanation for why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle? According to psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the answer is a resounding "yes." In "Attached," Levine and Heller reveal how an understanding of adult attachment-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:
*Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back
*Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
*Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. In this book Levine and Heller guide readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.
Amir Levine, M.D. is an adult, child, and adolescent psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He graduated from the residency program at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University and for the past few years Amir has been conducting neuroscience research at Columbia under the mentorship of Nobel Prize Laureate Eric Kandel. Amir also has a passion for working with patients and it...
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猜猜我的头像2020-07-21作为能量学的忠实信徒,我觉得作者对三种依恋类型的categorical分类太确切:虽然提到了安全型人在不同的亲密关系中可以展现出焦虑型和回避型的特质,但是对焦虑型和回避型的讨论并没有提及这一点。哪怕在我个人的经历中,人的依恋类型并不是由于大脑化学物质天生存在的,而是在不同的关系和不同的人相处中来回转变。安全性人面对过于粘人烦人的人也会变成回避型,回避型面对求之不得能量更高的回避型自然变成焦虑型。总之还是提升自己增加吸引力,不要当招人讨厌,相信人类喜欢追逐趋利避害喜欢占便宜的动物本能比较靠谱。
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Lucia2016-07-07yea... definitely an avoidant :/ puppy on the other hand, is so secure. learn from him.
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愚公移书2014-07-30心理类书籍一大作用便是帮助人们了解自己了解他人,很多时候问题都在于并不理解对方的行为、出发点、心理过程,多一份理解或许就是多一份包容的可能,倒也并不一定就是为了解决问题。况且很多时候问题其实就只是:你不理解我我不理解你,不是我不想理解你而是我不知道怎么用我自己的方式角度来理解你。
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Atropos2024-04-23你遇到一个新的潜在恋人时,他们属于回避型依恋风格的概率是很高的:大约25%,这个比率远远要高于这个依恋类型占总人口的比重。原因有三:一是因为他们重回单身的概率很高;二是由于他们与同类交往的概率很低;更重要的是,安全型依恋风格的人单身率本就偏低。
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Atropos2024-04-23你渐渐开始把焦虑、过激、心绪难平以及由此爆发的怒火,都等同于爱情的乐趣。而你的这一系列行为,本质上来说是将激活的依恋机制等同于恋爱中的激情。而这种情况往往会一发不可收拾,你会不自觉地爱上那些令你痛苦的人。(当焦虑型遇到回避型)
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Atropos2024-04-23“黄金法则”• 确认对方是否渴望亲密的行为。• 确定他对于恋情的投入程度,以及对遭到抛弃的敏感程度。• 不要依靠某种“症状”就一概而论,要从各方面来进行判断。• 与对方进行有效沟通,并且观察他的反应。• 仔细观察那些对方不愿说的话,不愿做的事。
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