Congrats! Congrats!

You've made it so far.

You're an adult now,

you're even allowed

in a bar.

But long before you're

going to succeed,

You'll eff shit up,

100% guaranteed.


Josh Miller is the author of A Zombie's History of the United States, The United States of Awesome, and the forthcoming book The Very Hungry Parasite. He is also the coauthor of Never Have I Ever.

Patrick Casey and Josh Miller are coauthors of The World Reduced to Infographics. They both live in Los Angeles.

Gemma Correll is the author and illustrator of A Cat's Life, A Dog's L...