消极情绪的力量
最新书摘：
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职心眼儿2019-02-07当我们说某个人很幸福时，我们的意思其实是他在生活中积极情绪较多，消极情绪较少。
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职心眼儿2019-02-06所有的情绪，不管好坏，都蕴含着许多信息，能帮助我们判断工作的进展、交流的成效、环境的好坏、行为的结果。简而言之，你的情绪就像汽车仪表盘上的GPS一样，能告诉你目前所在的位置、速度以及前后方的路况。
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职心眼儿2019-02-06容易陷入消极情绪的人往往能注意到更多的细节。
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职心眼儿2019-02-06在过去30年里，父母们真是越来越执着于孩子的安全问题了。现在的父母经常陪孩子们玩“不给糖，就捣乱”的游戏。
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职心眼儿2019-02-06正如艾利斯所言，大多数心理问题并非直接来自消极想法或消极情绪，而是源于人们对它的恐惧和逃避心理。
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Zéphyr2014-12-08THE TAKEAWAYSWhen we’re happy, our comfort with the status quo interferes with our ability to carefully attend to detail, and as a result we end up a bit more gullible, a bit less persuasive, and a little further from success.Although happiness is widely beneficial, organizing one’s life around it can lead to a great deal of effort and time being spent unwisely. Trying too hard to be happy interferes with the pleasure, engagement, and meaning we could otherwise find in the world.Happiness agendas backfire. Short-term and long-term goals are connected to each other, and we often need to sacrifice short-term happiness to accomplish meaningful long-term outcomes. People want to feel bad from time to time, especially when these “negative” psychological states are seen as instrumental to ac...
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Zéphyr2014-12-08Yukiko Uchida, a researcher at Kyoto University, asked a question that would likely get her kicked out of an American happiness club (yes, there are happiness clubs you can join). She asked people native to both countries to rate happiness on how positive it is and how negative it is, respectively. The Americans awarded happiness a very rosy 5.4 of 7 total possible points. The Japanese participants, on the other hand, gave it a respectable—but significantly lower—score of 5.1. More interesting is that the Japanese people rated happiness a 4.7 of 7 for being negative. The Americans, by contrast, gave it a 4.25 of 7, which, in statistical terms, was significantly lower. You might be scratching your head and wondering how happiness could be negative. Isn’t it a good feeling? The two key negat...
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职心眼儿2019-02-05即使是天下最耐心的父母，也有厌烦孩子的时候。
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职心眼儿2019-02-05拳王阿里：我讨厌训练的每一分钟，但是我告诉自己，不要放弃。忍受在先，此后的一生都将会是冠军。
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Zéphyr2014-12-08The first step is to check in with yourself frequently to assess whether your anger is increasing, decreasing, or stable in the given situation. For a scrupulous self-examination, use a number and even a few descriptive words to capture the intensity of your anger, as you’ll see in this speedometer example:90 MILES PER HOUR AND ABOVEBOILING, EXPLOSIVE, VIOLENT85 MILES PER HOURFUMING, OUTRAGED80 MILES PER HOURINFURIATED, ENRAGED75 MILES PER HOURIRATE, EXASPERATED65 MILES PER HOURBITTER, INDIGNANT60 MILES PER HOURPISSED OFF55 MILES PER HOURMAD, ANGRY50 MILES PER HOURAGITATED, PERTURBED45 MILES PER HOURANNOYED, IRRITATED, FRUSTRATED40 MILES PER HOURRUFFLED, DISPLEASED35 MILES PER HOUR AND BELOWCALM AND COOL, PEACEFUL, TRANQUIL
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Zéphyr2014-12-08We avoid negative emotions not because we’re too dumb to know better, but for four basic—and very intuitive—reasons:They are unpleasant. > 但你可以忍、你觉得你只要提高“抗压能力”就能挨过这些情绪They represent getting stuck in a rut. > 统计数据表明其实你是在劫难逃。They are associated with a loss of personal control. > 当然如此，所以激情杀人的判刑轻一点，但是激情杀人是杀人的最常见形态。They are perceived (correctly!) as having social costs. > 负面情绪不太会把人吓跑，但是会比正面情绪更迅速地传染给别人。
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职心眼儿2019-02-07如果你能意识到“幸福陷阱”的存在，并且利用好消极情绪的力量，那么你在生活中获得成功的概率将会提高20%。
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职心眼儿2019-02-05所有心理状态都有其可取之处，与其只朝着某一种状态努力，不如学会利用各种状态带来的好处。尤其是利用那些让你讨厌的状态，直到你拥有掌控所有状态的能力。