虎妈战歌
最新书摘：
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robin2012-03-10它会鞭策我的孩子达成我未能企及的目标，而它与我们祖先光宗耀祖的文化传统紧密相连。
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robin2012-03-10绝不能养育一个没有真才实学又狂妄自大的孩子
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NoodleFace2011-07-28从练习的准备到登台演出，为观众表演就像是在为他们“献血”，它掏空了你的情感，让你感到有一点轻飘飘的。这首曲子把欢乐带给观众，而与你朝夕相伴、耳鬓厮磨的音乐，就不再仅仅属于你。
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NoodleFace2011-07-28西方父母对孩子的自尊担忧颇多，但是作为父母，最不利于保护孩子自尊心的行为，就是你眼看着他们在困难面前放弃努力而不作为。西方父母竭力去尊重孩子的个性，鼓励他们追求自己真正的激情，支持他们自我的选择，给他们提供积极的肯定和成长的环境。而中国父母确信，保护孩子的最佳方式，就是帮助他们为未来作好准备，让他们看到自己的能力，用实用的技术、工作的好习惯和内在的、没人能够带走的自信来武装他们。
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NoodleFace2011-07-28“孩子无法选择他们的父母，甚至也无法选择是否要来到这个世界。是父母，把生命强加给了孩子。因此，父母有责任抚养孩子，而孩子对父母没有任何的亏欠。"这个说法让我对西方父母与孩子的可怕关系留下极为深刻的印象。
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NoodleFace2011-07-28我最大的恐惧是家族的没落。中国有一句魔咒般的俗语——“富不过三代。”如果有人对两代人的成就进行一项纵向的调查研究，我确信，他们会在那些最近50年来以大学毕业生或技术工人的身份幸运地来到美国的中国移民中，发现一种共同的生存模式。这种模式大致如下：移民的一代（就像我的父母）总是拼命工作，许多人刚来美国时几乎是一贫如洗。他们起早贪黑、没完没了地干活，直到功成名就，成为工程师、科学家、医生、学者或商人。身为父母，他们是超级严厉的长辈和省吃俭用的节俭狂—“不许倒掉剩菜剩饭！”“你为什么用这么多的洗洁剂？”“你不需要进美容院，我的理发技术比他们更棒。”他们很少喝酒，会把节约的钱用于房地产投资。他们所做的每一件事情、所挣的每一分钱，通通都是为了投资给孩子们的教育，期待他们拥有与自己不一样的未来。第二代移民（就像我）是出生在美国的第一代，他们中的典型人物颇有建树。他们通常弹钢琴、拉小提琴，进常春藤盟校；成为专门的人才—律师、医生、银行家、电视主持人。他们的收入大大超越父母，一方面是由于自己挣得多，一方面是缘于父母在他们身上进行了巨大的投资。不像父母那样节俭，他们喜欢喝鸡尾酒。女性通常会嫁给白人；不管是男性还是女性，他们对待自己的孩子再也不会像父辈那样严厉。第三代移民（就像索菲娅和路易莎）是那些让我们躺在床上彻夜难眠、烦扰不断的人。由于他们的父母和祖父、祖母付出了艰苦的努力，第三代人出生在生活条件极为舒适的中上层家庭。在孩提时代，他们就拥有许多精装本的书籍（在第一代移民—我们的父母眼里，那简直奢侈得近乎于犯罪）；有一些富裕的、成绩为“B+”的朋友。不管进不进私立学校，他们都渴望穿昂贵的名牌服装。最后，也最成问题的是，他们认为个人的权利受到美国宪法的保护，因而很不情愿顺从自己父母的意志、听从父母对他们的职业劝告。简而言之，所有的现象都表明，第三代人正在走下坡...
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女丁2011-07-13“You will marry a non-Chinese over my dead body.” But I ended up marrying Jed, and today my husband and my father are the best of friends.A tiny part of me regrets that I didn’t marry another Chinese person and worries that I am letting down four thousand years of civilization. But most of me feels tremendous gratitude for the freedom and creative opportunity that America has given me. My daughters don’t feel like outsiders in America. I sometimes still do. But for me, that is less a burden than a privilege.
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女丁2011-07-13I remember a boy in grade school making slanty-eyed gestures at me, guffawing as he mimicked the way I pronounced restaurant (rest-OW-rant)—I vowed at that moment to rid myself of my Chinese accent. But I also remember Girl Scouts and hula hoops; roller skating and public libraries; winning a Daughters of the American Revolution essay contest; and the proud, momentous day my parents were naturalized.
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女丁2011-07-13When General Douglas MacArthur liberated the Philippines in 1945, my mother remembers running after American jeeps, cheering wildly, as U.S. troops tossed out free cans of Spam. After the war, my mother attended a Dominican high school, where she was converted to Catholicism. She eventually graduated from the University of Santo Tomas first in her class, summa cum laude, with a degree in chemical engineering. My father was the one who wanted to immigrate to America. Brilliant at math, in love with astronomy and philosophy, he hated the grubbing, backstabbing world of his family’s plastics business and defied every plan they had for him. Even as a boy, he was desperate to get to America, so it was a dream come true when the Massachusetts Institute of Technology accepted his application. He ...
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女丁2011-07-13think of trying to tame a feral horse. Even when she was in utero she kicked so hard it left visible imprints on my stomach.She didn’t like the infant formula I fed her, and she was so outraged by the soy milk alternative suggested by our pediatrician that she went on a hunger strike. But unlike Mahatma Gandhi, who was selfless and meditative while he starved himself, Lulu had colic and screamed and clawed violently for hours every night. Jed and I were in ear-plugs and tearing our hair out when fortunately our Chinese nanny Grace came to the rescue. She prepared a silken tofu braised in a light abalone and shiitake sauce with a cilantro garnish, which Lulu ended up quite liking.It’s hard to find the words to describe my relationship with Lulu. “All-out nuclear warfare” doesn’t quite ca...
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女丁2011-07-13As I watched American parents slathering vt. 厚厚地涂；大量使用praise on their kids for the lowest of tasks—drawing a squiggle or waving a stick—I came to see that Chinese parents have two things over their Western counterparts: (1) higher dreams for their children, and (2) higher regard for their children in the sense of knowing how much they can take.
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女丁2011-07-13other kids were learning to count from 1 to 10 the creative American way—with rods, beads, and cones—I taught Sophia addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, fractions, and decimals the rote Chinese way
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女丁2011-07-13Sophia was intellectually precocious, and at eighteen months she knew the alphabet. Our pediatrician denied that this was neurologically possible, insisting that she was only mimicking sounds. To prove his point, he pulled out a big tricky chart, with the alphabet disguised as snakes and unicorns. The doctor looked at the chart, then at Sophia, and back at the chart. Cunningly, he pointed to a toad wearing a nightgown and a beret. “Q,” piped Sophia. The doctor grunted. “No coaching,” he said to me. I was relieved when we got to the last letter: a hydra with lots of red tongues flapping around, which Sophia correctly identified as “I.”
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lucaswang2011-06-29中国父母在教育孩子时不善于面对挫折，无法容忍失败的可能性。从另外一个角度来看，他们的教育模式倾向于获得成功，这也是他们能使“自信满满、拼命努力、从成功走向更大的成功”形成良性循环的原因。
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lucaswang2011-06-29“在我过去所做过的事情中，那些我曾经害怕去尝试的事情，其实才是最有价值的。”
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卷卷2011-01-27杰德：“孩子无法选择他们的父母，甚至也无法选择自己是否要来到这个世上。是父母把生命强加给了孩子。因此，父母有责任抚养孩子，而孩子对父母没有任何亏欠，他们的责任就是抚养自己的孩子。”
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卷卷2011-01-27我并不是一个天生好质疑、爱提问的人，我只想记下教授讲述的一切内容，然后死记硬背。
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rechal12182013-09-28“你还是在打初级水平的比赛吗？”我问露露，“就是最低水平？““是的。”她和颜悦色地说。自从我把选择的权利交给她自己，我们的关系就大大改善了。这样做给我带来的负面的痛苦，对她来说却似乎成了正面的收获，她变得更加耐心、更加友善。“我很快就要尝试高一级水平的比赛，我肯定要吃败仗，但是我想试一试，这样做一定很好玩。”
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rechal12182013-09-28当我缓缓地穿过俄罗斯的红霞，我意识到小提琴对我来说，也成为了一种压抑的象征。我曾经坐在家门前思考露露与小提琴的关系。在最后一分钟，我第一次对强烈要求露露坚持练习小提琴的做法产生了怀疑。想想在数不清的时间和岁月中，我付出了多少努力，经历了多少争斗，体验了多少恼怒，又忍受了多少痛苦……这到底是为了什么？我同时也明白了对未来，我到底最为担心的又是什么。我还想到，我此时此刻的焦虑一定与西方父母相似，这也是他们常常让孩子放弃高难度乐器练习的原因。你为什么要折磨自己并为难孩子呢？这样做有何意义？假如孩子不喜欢甚至讨厌做某事，强迫她去做又有什么好处呢？然而，我现时也十分清楚，做为一个中国妈妈，我很难认同这样的思维方式。